RUNAWAY ;

Sunday, March 16, 2008

finding a place call home...

i know what you thinking. you want me to leave isn't it? fine. i leave. you happy now? eventhough you didn't tell me but i heard what you said with him. he don't like me, he's mad at me, so? i don't care. what i hurt the most is you never give me a chance. you never understand me. once i did wrong, i'm always wrong. i heard everything that you said. i felt hurt. deeply. very deeply. worst than a deep cut with a knife. my heart is bleeding. i'm just waiting to die now. how i wish i never been to this world before. how i wish i'm not come from this family. i agree to my friend, since when parents will understand us. now i know how the bad people felt, you want bad? i give you bad. and as a brother, you are suppose to protect and help me, not message me and said how disappointed on me. you wanna talk? fine. but i know what are you going to say. you always help her isn't it? because she's your mother. you always think parents are right. you will only listen and agree with them. but what about me? have you ever think about how i feel? why do all of you so selfish? have you ever try? try to think about me? try to understand how i feel? never. because you all always think that you are right. i'm always the person who get to blame on because i'm the youngest. being a youngest, is not as good as i expected. what more being a daughter and a sister? i miss my mom. i miss my dad. i miss my two brothers. where are they? i want my old life. eventhough we're living in separately. but now, i think i miss the time when i lived with my cousins. at least they won't give me so much pressure. at least they care for me. at least there is someone can play with me. although i have no freedom. why do i chose to living with you? why? because i thought i can do whatever i like with my freedom. the moment i stepped on this house? i thought i was free. i really thought this is a home for me. but i'm wrong. i shouldn't chose you. i made a big mistake. this is not what i want. you're not my mom, you're not my brothers, anymore. i'll leave. without your notice. i'll leave, to a place where i call peace and free. i'll leave, not because i did wrong, is because i don't want to see your face anymore. i feel no guilty. i know what i did. i don't need to explain, and i don't like to. my perfect family has gone, to nowhere. and i can't wait to leave this place. to somewhere that everyone don't know me. to a place where i call it home. and never come back...

Saturday, March 15, 2008

i MaY LeAvE tO aNyWhErE tHaT gIvE mE pEaCe...

you never try to understand me. everything i said, you never listen and never try to remember. anything happened, always put on me and crashing me down. and i thought you're the one that i should rely on. i always do, but everytime you just let me down. i never tell you my problems, because i feel like you won't help me to solve. i have to do on my own. and that's made me sick. sometimes, or mostly, i felt like friends are more helpful than you are. they even know what's going on with me even it's just a little tiny thing. where are you when i needed the most? where is your shoulder when i need you? i want to get out of this place. this awful place that makes me feel sick and disappointed. it's just a place for me to sleep and get ready for tomorrow stuff. i wanted to leave, to somewhere that give me peace and freedom, and no more war between you and me. just let me go... can't you? you'll be more easy and i'll be more happy. because i don't like headache. headache makes me feel dead. the dead that your body lives on earth but your spirit lives in hell...

sHoRt PoSt...

Back from macau. Went to sunway today. Was damn tired. But i keep my promise.
Sorry to marianne and ern, i didn't know you girls are waiting for me. So sorry about that.
Sunway was fun. But i don't feel like say anything here, please refer to other's blog who went with me.
I got a very bad headache, still have to study for tests anyhow. Don't expect i will update my blog these days. So please leave me alone. Thank you.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

i'M a SiAo HuMaN...

It's 2.30am now, and i'm just finished packing. Damn tired and sleeeeeepy. Actually, i was thought that i'm done with my luggage, but then later i forgot to bring this, then open the bag stuff inside and zip again. Later later on, something reminds me to bring that, open the bag stuff inside and zip again -..-" I know i'm damn siao, even tanjung rambutan also cannot tahan me XP
Gonna contact my friends through sms in 4 days. I'm pretty sure my credit will be zero when i get back here T..T Or... Maybe when i still at macau?? o..O Anyway, reload lorr.. What to do? I got lots of friends to chat with. Plus, SPM result is coming out on wednesday, lagi have to sms!

For those who waiting for your SPM result, GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS you all~
Gonna miss you guys very much..

Anything just sms to me *if you have enough credit ^o^* You know my number...

Just to make sure here, yes i AM going on saturday. And please DO NOT contact me, if you wanna ask anything, please contact with Ms. Marianne or Ms. Lee Su Wen. Thank you for your cooperation =)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

i WaS tAgGeD bY...

Marianne, Zhen Meng & Emily. tada~

001. Real name: Yvonne Kow Kar Mun
002. Nickname: i don't really remember... carrot, y-von-neh, vonne vonne, yvonne jie, yvonne cheh ( car ), mun mun, car car, kow kow, dai ka jie, nice-to-kick-ass a.k.a ntk-ass ( ask marianne, she created it -..-" )
003. Married: errr... what...?
004. Male or female: female. duh...
005. Highschool: SMK Seri Saujana. don't know? go search from the web..
006. College: future maybe
007. Short or long hair: since marianne said hers short, mine... err... same gua... you don't measure it do you? hmm...? o..O
008. Are you a health freak: DEFINITELY... no -..-"
009. Height: remember last time the teacher told me 165 cm. consider short for me.
010. Do you have a crush on someone: nope =)
011. Do you like yourself: ... not really...
012. Piercings: no
013. Righty or lefty: wait... right left right left right left... oh i'm a lefty! XP

FIRST
014. First surgery: err... operation coming out from my mom...? hahahahahaha
015. First piercing(s): never
016. First person u see in the morning : myself
017. First award: don't really remember.. 3rd prize for badminton when i was standard 3? i guess...
018. First sport you join: badminton
019. First pet: a puppy. used to.
020. First vacation: langkawi when i was 4
021. First Concert: a hong kong artist with my cousin
022. First crush: you tell me first =/

CURRENTLY
023. Eating: nothing
024. Drinking: saliva?
025. I'm about to: finish this tag. yay~

YOUR FUTURE
026. Want kids: don't know
027. Want to get married: maybe
028. Careers in mind: psychologist or pilot

WHICH ONE IS BETTER
029. Lips or eyes: eyes
030. Hugs or kisses: both ^..^V
031. Shorter ot taller : TALLER of course!
032. Romantic or spontaneous: both
033. Sensitive or loud : neither
034. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither one.. but trouble maker sounds fun >o<

HAVE YOU EVER
035. Kissed a stranger: NOOOO
036. Drank bubbles: nope
037. Lost glasses/contacts: never
038. Ran away from home: never. but i ran away TO home. heh...
039. Liked someone younger: non of your business
040. Liked someone older: told you. refer to the answer above
041. Broken someone's heart: always
042. Been arrested: let's see... for pinching people's face or kicking people's ass?
043: Cried when someone died: yes
044. Liked a friend: i like... all my friends =P

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
045. Yourself: let me think... err... uhm... nope
046. Miracles: sure
047. Heaven: 1/2
048. Santa Claus: i believe i can fly~
050. Angels: always around me ^o^

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
051. Is there one person you want to be with right now: think so
052. Do you believe in God: yeah
053. Tag 5 people: err... mini myni minimo! anna, emily, tsing, mel c, the last one is... YOU! since you're reading this... hahahahaha

Have fun people! Good luck for those sitting for exam.. Or test... Whatever. Stop saying the form 5 are good because we have to study during holiday! We even have exam in every month! T..T

Now i know why marianne wants to have that super power -..-"