Failure...

Sometimes i just feel like i'm a failure. Worst than a failure. Even a form 1 kid
can think in mature way like the adults. But i'll just think that if i give them as much as i can and that's the best way for them. Well, truth is cruel in sometimes yet it's true. Everyone keep saying that it's for their own good. But is it what they want? Is it what they want from you? Maybe you're giving them the best thing in the world but are they really want it? Yes, it's for their own good, but all those views and opinions are out from yourself. You're the one who want them to do what you want. Am i right? Sometimes people just want some spaces for their own selves to do things that they really wanted to. That's what the form 1 kid told me last night. And i'm totally agree with it. I cried when i saw this message. I feel so embarassing and disappointed on myself. How come i'm being so stubborn in this second? In this minute? In these years? Torturing my own self and other people? What the hell am i thinking? What the fuck am i doing? I just feel so tired of myself in this second. For being a stupid fool in my own life. Doing some stupid things that even a stupid fool won't do. I keep pushing myself that never ever do the same mistake like i used to. But when things happen, i'll just can't control myself. Keep doing the same fucking mistake again, again and again. I've lost someone i love, someone who i really care for, in just one little mistake. And i don't know how to save this relationship until now. I don't even dare to face that person. All i can do is just cheer her up and solve every problem that she face, without her known. I don't want to lose anyone again. Anyone in my life. Just feel very frustrated now. I'm a failure. Doing what a failure will do... And i'm sorry for what i did...