Back to the old times =)

Watching some amazing goals from youtube felt so good. Excited, and reminded me about my youth.

When I was a kid, I used to watch football games with my father and brothers. Though I wasn't really understand what football is, but I enjoyed the goals and the moment they scream together. I remember the first FIFA World Cup I've watched, it was won by Holland if I 'm not mistaken. I remembered my father was talking with my brothers about Berkamp's goal. It is the clearest memory about my father with the family. Speaking of that time, David Beckham was the hottest footballer around the town. Everyone likes him and seems like he's the only one that everyone knows when comes to football games.

Of course, he's my hottest best footballer among all. Not that he's the only one who famous back at 90s, and he's the only one who can really play well and have natural talent plus potential in football. His free kicks and crosses were the best, and no one else can beat him even until now. I have a poster of him that hanged on my wall. The first thing you'll see when you enter my room will be his handsome face on the wall. My friends all noticed it and said I'm crazy. So what? Don't ever let me see you hanging Jay Chou on your wall then. It's crazy! You know.

When I watch the videos, I can feel the excitement and passion when he plays. His goals was absolutely no doubt, fascinating. All his free kicks bend, assistance, passing and goals, it's almost 100% accurately to be score once he got the chance and the right spot. He can determined really fast about how much strength he's gonna kick the ball and pass to his teammate, with 100% accurately. He's talented just the moment he born. He work hard for his fame and money, he played with his passion. He's unpredictably nice and handsome, not to mention having a wife that dressing him to be a fashion icon. Incredibly sexy body shape, tattoos, hairstyle and lot more. How amazing would it be if he's my dad? Nah just kidding. But... What if I am?

I miss the time when he wears the red jersey. I miss the time when he kicks out the ball and celebrate on the next moment. I felt regret that I didn't watch much of his games when he play for the Red Devils. Well... That's the time that you're suppose to missed aren't ya?

Picture of the day

I like this hairstyle the most

Dream on Yvonne... Dream it big.

Acting strange...

Been sleeping in the middle of the night lately. My body told me to sleep but my brain just doesn't allowed me to. With all the music, games, imaginations and shit. Damn my brain just wouldn't wanna rest for a second.

The coming weeks is going to be super busy for me. Tom is going to work at the fair, me have to take care of his outlet my own. I'm afraid that I can't handle it. Imma everyday late to work, what more can help him to take care of it? It's a joke right? I hope it is. Seriously.

I must change. At least be punctual to work as my first step. Then, a chance to apologize. I need to prove to myself, and to other people, that I am capable to handle things myself. I am a reliable person and a trustworthy friend. I have to gain back my trust between them and I. Only time can change this matter at the moment. Not that I don't care, but I'll just let the time to prove it to them, about the real me.

To be honest, I do feel disappointed to myself. What a joke.

Just want to buried myself into music and think nothing.

Picture of the day

Yea I'm cute =)

I feel like we're being far apart away.

My life is confised

Is it me or is it my brain? Made me fucking late to work these days. I'm scared, to let others find out. I don't mind what others think, but her. I'm pathetic I know.

I know I'm the problem, not my brain. Just trying to find an excuse for me to escape. Scared, but still doing it. What the fuck are you doing Yvonne Kow?! You've said you'll change, but since when you really change? Since when? I wanna know either. Your room is a mess, your job is pointless, your study is worthless, your life is confused. What am I doing at all these times? Am I on the right way? Or did I choose the wrong path? Can anyone tell me?

I feel really upset, when seeing my friends are graduating from college. I admit it. I'm jealous and upset. I don't blame anyone, not my mom, not my dad, not my brothers, but myself. I wasted my own time and other people's money. I lost trust from my friends, my colleague, I guess the next will be my family. Let's hope they don't give up on me alright? I got no one to tell my feelings, here, in this place, is the only place that I can spread out my feelings, but no one knows still.

At the moment, I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm pathetic. Can anyone hear me?

Picture of the day

I'm scared. My life is pathetic.

I'm still trying to be better for you, but I just can't.