nO mOrE...

Thursday - frustrated

It's you. It's always be you.

You're my sis. You're the one that i always need. I remember the first time we met in school in 1 year ago. It was Lili and Lisa introduce you for me. I thought you're a quiet student girl, but actually you're not. You are very nice and friendly. We played everything together. We've spent a lot of great time together last year.

In this year, we're getting more close with each other. Sisters are the relationship of us. We share everything. Our family, our background, our secrets, our friends, our stories... We keep in touch every single night. MSN, phone calls... We talked everything. And then finally you become a prefect. Lots of gossips around you and LCM... But we went through it together. We go through lots of things. Our relationship are getting more and more closer...

Until the big problems came out from last month. Lots of things we have to face. It's between you and LCM. I've tried my best to help. But it seems useless. I felt so useless in that moment. I don't know what else i can do for you both. So, i've decided to do a decision for you...

I give my time that i can spend with you to LCM. So that you both have more time to meet in each day. You asked me why i don't wanna talk to you these few days but i didn't answer. Because i know you'll feel guilty or something which i don't want you to be. But i was trying to tell you actually, it's just you found out before i could tell you. You mad with me and i understand that you have the right reason to angry with. I never blame you on this, but myself.

I wrote letter to you yesterday, but the things you said are so hurt to me.

"I think we better be friends than sisters now."

I was so angry and sad. And i tore the paper and threw it!

All the things that i've done for you are like no meaning for you. How could you said that to me??? I rather you don't forgive me than don't be sisters anymore. But anyhow, i respect your decision. At least, i've helped you to do a decision now. And i think that's the best way to solve this. You chose him. And i totally understand why. And that's the point that i'm doing this. I know it's stupid but, at least you got what you want and live happily right? I don't want you to be suffering between me and him. I don't want to be your burden.

Now, i know you're happy with him. All i can say is sorry for what i've done to you, and wish you both happy together forever. I just want you to be happy. I don't mind to sacrifice everything for you...

.................................................................

I really wish that time can switch back like before. But i know it's impossible... There's no miracle in this world. At least i think it is.

I quit.

An old song from Mariah Carey ---

I CAN'T LIVE~
IF LIVING IS WITHOUT YOU~
I CAN'T LIVE~
I CAN'T LIVE ANYMORE~

i'm in hell now~
-just from the best damn yk-