I WanT...

Why is it so hard to show up your feels? I need to know.
Why are you always did that to me? I really need to know.
I care about you, but do you really know that?
All i want is just to share your feelings, nothing much.
I want to know what happened? Why can't you just tell me?
I don't need rewards, all i need is the truth.
I appreciate so much about our friendship, but do you?
I do everything for you, and i know you did too.
But where are you when the time i need you?
Today, when i'm in trouble, i have a very hard time to recover my mood. I didn't even say a single word the whole day. But i have to fake smile to you. I have to pretend nothing happen at all.
Why? Because i don't want you to worry.
I spread out my felt in afternoon. I spread out my anger to them, but i still control my temper eventhough i feel like crying.
My friends kept asking me what happened? But i never tell. Why? Because i know they can't help me.
I just want to be alone. But you're the only one came out from my mind.
I need you, but you're not there for me.
Should i tell you about this? Should i tell you how i feel?
If i do, i'm afraid this is the end of our friendship.
My heart is so suffer and empty, i don't know what to do now. I can't breathe, i need a break.
I wanted to talk to you, but i don't dare. Because i just don't.
Is it funny? You are my best friend, but i couldn't tell you anything about my feelings.
I felt like wanna kill myself now.
Hey girl, when you're in trouble, i tried to find you and cheer you up. But you just don't let me.
I don't dare to tell you that i felt hurt, because i don't wanna hurt you.
All i can do is just type out what i felt, in here.
I wish i have a brain wash, so that i won't remember the bad memories.